Bringing Trust Back Into Your Relationship

So you have lost the trust in your relationship.  Something you have done has made it disappear, and now you are worried if you will ever get it back.  I am going to be honest with you, it will be one of the hardest things you will ever do, and you may not succeed.

You see one has to earn trust.  Usually, in the beginning of a relationship trust has been established, and is continually built throughout the relationship.  At times we do things that break that trust down, and erode it form the inside.  This could be cheating, lying, or some other bad behavior.  What makes it even more difficult is that trust means something different to all of us.  We all have standards, and while one person may be able to forgive a cheating partner, others may not.

At most we will usually try to see if the trust can somehow be brought back to a relationship, but it can be difficult.  From experience, I know that even though it may appear as if you have regained trust, it comes up again and again in different fights.  Something that you both may have said is okay now, rears its head when things are not going well.  Do not lie to yourself, and say that the trust is back when in fact it is not.

So how do you do it, if it can be done… Well that is simple.  Be honest, and genuine.  Do not lie, or cheat, or sneak around.  Keep your lines of communication open.  Do not hide things in order for someone not to get hurt.   If they find out, they will be hurt even more.  You can not save someone from their feelings.  If anything, let them feel whatever they want.

Save the apology.  To that person your word means nothing now.  Your actions however, mean everything.  Do things that will make them trust you again.  Tell them the truth, and let them be the judge.  Do you really want to be with someone who you have to sneak behind their backs to live your life.  Why not discover that perhaps you are not meant for each other, and you need to move on.  Instead of leading them on, save them the trouble, and heartache.

If you find yourself unable to trust again then that is up to you.  Do not let anyone tell you how you should feel after you have been betrayed by a loved one.  The fact is that they hurt you, and it is up to them to try and regain that trust back into your relationship.  Sometimes you just cannot forgive someone, and that is your prerogative.  Just do not turn a blind eye to it.  That way you will not fight about something every time you fight about another problem in your relationship.

For those of you trying to earn trust with your partner, actions speak louder then words.  It will be difficult to get your relationship back to the way it was, and you may never get it back.  But then, perhaps you should have thought about that before you did wrong.