He’s Just Not That Into You
The popular phrase that everyone laughs about even when you jokingly say it to the guy you are dating. You meet your girlfriends for lunch or dinner and the topic of dating always come up into conversation even without even drinks! It doesn’t matter if you are 14, 20, 30 and so forth. It will always be the same question you wonder about when you are dating someone new. Does he like me?
True story scenarios with tons of laughter from the table because when you’re asking it out loud explaining the situation it then seems too clear that hey he’s not that into you.
With some of my friends who are very particular on a man’s profession I myself like dating someone who at least loves what they are doing versus someone who appears miserable and complains about their work at all times. So I have dated business professionals, entreprenurs, computer geeks to club bouncers. Go figure that the latter ones always seemed to be happier except for one that I just recently met.
We went out for coffee and he could not stop talking about the ex-girlfriend which is always fun to hear. I meant that with sarcasm but I really wonder why men don’t get that the new date doesn’t really need to hear how awful she was. As women we don’t want to get a hint of what may be coming if we were to get into a relationship and split up. Personally I think I’ve only met one or two men in my whole lifetime of dating who did not speak about their ex-girlfriends. It was very refreshing! Maybe as women we are just more considerate and choose not to speak about
our ex lovers and all. Hmm.
Anyways, this club bouncer and I met up in the week for coffee. Here was the thing. I was introduced to him at the actual club so it was loud and noisy right. When I actually met him in person I actually could hear his voice now and it didn’t match the physial part of him. It was completely distracting to me in conversation to say the least. Totally threw me off for it was high pitched and he was all of 6′3″ displaying some good pipes. ha.
Anyways, I should have known from the get go from the coffee place he picked out for us which was pretty isolated and unknown. Well coffee is coffee and when it comes to my coffee I’m open. Instead of having an open conversation it turned into a one-sided conversation with him ranting about his ex-girlfriend who he split up with 5 years ago and how awful she was. It always makes me cringe for I don’t the woman or any of the exes I hear about so I know realistically there are always three sides to the story. The truth fits in between the two.
I figured this bouncer obviously needed some closure for all the anger he was throwing out into our coffee cups and I wasn’t the right person for it. He called me this afternoon and I had to tell him in the middle of his ex-talk that I had to get ready for a big party tonight which is true. It’s better to be honest with someone so I’ll be speaking to him tommorrow and letting go of this new guy and his ex-girlfriend. Oh well, c’est la vie!
Don’t Call Me. I’ll Call You.
Dating is quite the adventure and you never know how it’s going to go or end. Someone I dated last year resurfaced again this new year. Unfortunately for him I said no. Perhaps I was harsh but let me back up the story here.
We knew each other from our circle of friends. You know how it goes. A friend of a friend. We probably have always been attracted to each other for we use to flirt when we were around each other for some event but nothing. I heard through the grapevine he was interested and by the time we actually ended up on a date it was years later and he told me he always wanted to ask me out but I always had a boyfriend! He just threw it out there and asked when I would accompany him for dinner. Of course it didn’t hurt he threw beautiful girl in between the sentences. ha!
I figured we would have fun since we always had fun in each other’s company. He’s actually more of a reserved kind of guy but highly eccentric with humor I understood. The date began hilariously for he got my address mixed up so he was waiting down the block at a different place. I cannot stop laughing when I think of that. Just picture the two of us on our phones. I’m kind of walking on the sidewalk taking a glimpse down the street in the cold I might add. He slowly driving his car asking if i see him. Quite memorable I have to say.
Dinner went really well and we went to a local hot spot for dessert which was a hop, skip and jump away from the restaurant. This is what I found out. When you date someone that is a mutual friend of a friend you both worry that the date details will go back to the friends which will in turn come back to each of us. I didn’t want that and have now decided to never date someone in the mutual circle since it makes it complicated. None of your friends wants to get involved if there are bumps down the road because they don’t want to choose sides plus you never really know how much your friends really know.
I was surprised at how forward he was inviting me to his place to watch a movie and hang out afterwards. I did agree and gone was the reserved guy I once knew replaced with quite the confidence. After some dates I knew it wasn’t going to work out.There were things about him I obviously did not know about when you are just friends and I didn’t like them.
I am always amazed how two people can be dating each other and have a different perception of the situation. After only a few dates he was assuming that we were already seeing each other and that hey I was his girlfriend. I was not his girlfriend. I like to take my time getting to know someone and there was no conversation on the ‘exclusive dating’. You know what I’m talking about. He was just so much more invested in this than I was and I know he will never be a friend again because he can’t. Today I got a message asking if we should try again. Try what?! I feel pressured each time he contacts me for he keeps pushing the idea of us and there is no us. This has been going on every few months and I have chosen not to answer his calls anymore.
What’s In A Name When It’s Not Yours!
Remember Michael? If you don’t, let me refresh your memory here.
He did call and asked to take me out to dinner without running into my ex this time around! I was looking forward to it. He wanted to do both a movie and dinner which was great for he told me to choose something I wanted to see. Always a plus.
By the end of the movie we were both looking forward to dinner. Dinner was going fantastic with ongoing conversation and I found out he loves to write. He shared details about the manuscript he was working on for a science fiction book. I love reading and writing so this impressed me. In the middle of dinner his cell phone went off which he answered. I thought it was kind of rude for apparently it wasn’t an emergency. Well maybe for him.
I could hear a female voice on the other line. Now before you guys bite my head off!! Let me tell you. We girls just know when something is up. I could hear her on the other end and Michael was having the time of his life laughing with her on the phone. He even excused himself from the table still on the phone. I have never had a date excuse himself to speak on his cell phone. In fact if they did answer their phone, they were always quick enough to get off the phone apologizing to me. I was debating whether I should order an entire chocolate cherry cake and leave.
I was on my way to ordering the chocolate cherry cake and he arrived back to the table. I swear he was gone for at least 10 minutes. He was still smiling when he came back and didn’t apologize. Instead he explained that his friend was at work and after our dinner we could drop off HIS leftover food and a slice of cake to her. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m all for opposite sex friends for most of my friends are male but this was just getting weird.
What? I blinked. He repeated himself. He paid for dinner and got the waitress to get an extra slice of cake to go. Anyways, we left the restaurant and he told me his friend’s work was just twelve minutes away. Wow, talk about precise. We arrived at a shoe store that apparently was open 24 hours or not. I could see they had just closed but a young girl let us inside the store. Maybe all of 18 years old. Did I mention Michael is in his mid-thirties? He walked with her to where the til was and another employee peeked her head out from the back to see who was there.
Michael introduced me and she looked me up and down. She gave me that look…come on girls….you know that look…. and then stroked Michael’s arm thanking him for the food. We left and he told me he’s known her for six months and that they use to date briefly but she called it off. I was almost right with the age thing. He told me she just turned 19. I’m good. He leaned over to kiss me.
Michael: So Clarissa..I mean Miss. Belle…where do you want to go now?
His face turned beet red. Clarissa was eating his leftover potatoes in between cleaning up shoes. He knew where to go.
Hello, is it me you’re looking for?
I just ran into a guy whose name I found out was Sam that remembered me from 7 years ago! Wow, I am flattered for I barely remember this good looking guy. My memory is so failing me right now!!
I had noticed him when I went into the mall for we locked eyes when he was standing at some kiosk. Now there’s a moment. A few stores later I turned around and there he was towering over me. He has to be at least 6′2″ tall. Fantastic.
“Hi Belle,” he said with a sexy smile. I must have looked stunned for I didn’t know how he knew my name. He asked me if I remembered him and umm……no I didn’t. He looked a little hurt about it as he tried to dodge my memory. He was trying really hard but I couldn’t remember the situation but he certainly did. Poor guy. He introduced himself and supposedly he drove me home when my boyfriend at the time could not. What is up with all the mutual accquaintance business? My boyfriend at the time had to work late and somehow Sam was there and offered. Hmm….I do kind of recall a silver truck . He did have a silver truck. Yes!
He couldn’t believe I didn’t remember everything but I was quite flattered he did. Isn’t it great when we’ve made some kind of impression on them?! He told me I still look damn good. Can I emphasize the damn?!
Sam: Are you still with your boyfriend?
Me: No, he and I split awhile back.
Sam: Are you single?
Me: Yes…are you?
Sam: (laughs) Yes, May I get your number?
Me: (giggles) I don’t give my number out to strangers. May I get yours?
Sam: (laughs like crazy) Okay, here’s my number. How about we do something on the weekend?
Me: Such as….?
Sam: How about dinner and maybe some dancing?
Me: How about next weekend?
Sam: I’ll take any weekend with you.
Very smooth. He was lingering and asked if I needed a ride home which we had a good laugh about. I can somewhat picture it now which is still abit blurry but it’s there. Regardless, I will see him next weekend.
One of my friends asked if I thought it would be wrong to date someone who is an accquaintance of our exes. IF it were a good friend of our exes and/or someone that I had known in the time of our relationship whom we spent time with then this would be a completely different situation. Personally, I don’t think it’s wrong at all if it’s only an accquaintance and nevertheless we have all moved on. Here’s to a new year of new dating! Okay, who drank my champagne?
Two’s Company, Three’s A Crowd
After some flirtation and calling me Miss. Belle each time he passed by my office I was somewhat crushing on tall, dark and handsome Michael. He was always friendly to me and we had this silent attraction to each other. So silent it only took him 256 days for him to ask me out for dinner but who’s counting?!
Michael: Good Morning Miss. Belle, would you like to go for dinner tonite after work?
How could I say no to that and the voice along with it?! The outfit I was wearing could work for dinner. Ah, yes, how the mind works. We don’t work for the same employer and our offices are in the same vicinity of office space so we made quick plans on where to meet. I was looking forward to it all day. We ended up taking his car and ended up at a restaurant of my choice. We settled in comfortably still laughing a few hours later when I hear a very familiar voice.
“Hi Belle”……..low and behold it’s my ex-boyfriend. The ex-boyfriend I split up with a year ago and he is standing there at the side of our table with what I can only describe as looking seriously pissed off. I leaned back………..I was going to enjoy this.
You see my ex-boyfriend and I were together for two years and some would say I was madly in love with until we split up a year ago. Cheating does put a damper on things. I in fact caught him cheating on me so this looked quite good on him for you see Michael and my ex were accquaintances. In fact, my ex-boyfriend may have been the one to have introduced me when he and I were together. How ideal! As a couple we always use to run into Michael and my ex was always brief with him but civil. He didn’t like Michael for whatever reason which I always chalked up to be jealousy. My ex was competitive and Michael struck me the same. Hmmmm. Michael didn’t even skip a beat. He actually stood up abit and extended his hand as his usually did with people. Talk about awkward. My ex hesitated and with a hello he shook his hand exchanging small talk then turned to me with his eyes blazing asking if he could speak to me in a choked effort. I couldn’t help smirking.
In my mind I was both amused and annoyed he actually approached us. He actually left who he was with to come to OUR table. Wow, talk about luck. In a brief moment I almost said yes but for what reason? To throw salad down his pants? The guy had cheated on me. I dumped him. End of story.
Ever so sweetly I told him I was in the middle of dinner with Michael . Okay, so I got a look that could have made me choke on my food and land on my plate but it was fact. How dare he come up to me and act territorial!! After he stormed off, Michael was really good about the whole thing. We ended the dinner exchanging telephone numbers and by the time I got home I saw 6 blinking messages on my machine. Guess who? uh-huh the ex. I found 3 messages from him and put it on speed forward so I could hear the first one quickly and painlessly.
The ex-chipmunk: How the hell could you move on so fast?! And with Michael?? The guy I don’t like!! Acorns are great.
Okay I added the acorns part but you know what? Delete. Delete.Delete.
