One Argument You Just Cannot Win
Fighting is never fun. It is not like we do it just to get our kicks. Usually, it feels like life or death, and we are going to fight it out until one person wins. However, are there arguments that we just are not capable of winning? Arguments that will just simply leave us feeling like dirt. Well there are. Either you can take this advice and choose not to end up in one, or you can ignore it, and feel the pain later.
It usually goes something like this. Two adults are having a regular disagreement. Then it happens. he say something that hurts your feelings, and as a rational woman your only choice is to get emotional, and suddenly a small argument turns into hurtful things being said, and you feel bad for it. So did you win? Even though you might have been right, you still feel bad, so who won?
Well ladies, this is how a man thinks. He is thinking like a businessman, and that the most logical opinion wins. You could make that claim, but still end up feeling hurt, so he still won. This is where they get the term, ‘may the best man win’. Women on the other hand do not think like this. Women get competitive, and begin to feel as if they are being blamed for doing something wrong. Their reaction is to get angry. Men do not understand this so they are left going, ‘hey what happened, I was just making a point’. Now you have just gone and thrown him for a loop, because he is powerless to a women in pain.
Then he thinks you are playing him. Like this is a game of baseball again. She will cry, or go from a strong opinionated woman, to a quiet, little girl. So now he will punish you for your games, by making it clear that he is right and you are wrong.
So here is my advice. If you start strong, stay there. If you want to proves something, you better be able to handle it if you are wrong. If you want to be cuddled then start sift. If you act like a split-personality he will be less likely to share things with you in the future. Do not get competitive. This is a mans dream. Even though you are his girlfriend he still cannot wait to say ‘I told you so’, and crush you like a bug.
If you do want to make your point then stick to it, and stay strong.
Making the Most Out of Online Dating
Dating websites are now becoming increasingly popular these days. Many people have busy lives, so they do not have much time, and are unable to spend their time for dating in the traditional way. Online dating allows you to find your perfect match more quickly and conveniently. This article will give you some tips to make the most out of your online dating experience. These apply equally well to everyone, irrespective of whether you are going for a free dating website, or for one that you need to pay for.
The first thing is to have that is crucial is a photo. This is very important because it will make the experience more personal, and it makes the person who is going through your profile feel as if they already knew you slightly, since they will have a picture to look at. It is a good idea to get a picture that most reflects the type of person you are. A facial shot is the best, just one of yours being calm. If you wish to use more of your bizarre pictures, it is probably good to wait until the other person has got to know you a bit, or you may scare them away. This gets the experience off on an honest start.
The next thing is to make up a good profile. Spend some extra time in making your profile. This needs to be time well spent. It should be in depth and different, but you must not go on too long about any single thing. This could make people lose their interest in you. It is best to fill each field of your profile with just a few words, but it should reflect your attitude or in short, your uniqueness. You must try your best to make it so that the words you write must leave the reader wanting to know more about you, in detail.
You may be thinking that you are just trying out this dating website. That is fine, but you will almost certainly increase your chances of success, if you are able to be clear about what you want early on. People prefer this much, since it will help them to make a quick decision about going on further, or stopping without looking further into the details. Do not be troubled if someone does not desire the same things as you, however smart they may be in other ways. Online dating is now so large, and popular that you can easily find many other people whose plans match your own.
You must try to be as “real” as you can. This implies that you should not try to make your self out to be someone that you are not, or that you are capable of doing things that you really cannot do. This will soon be exposed if it does work out between you. It is much better to just be yourself when trying to find a date online. Lastly, be patient. It may not happen in the very first day or even the first week, but if you keep going with confidence, you will have no trouble finding your perfect match.
How To Predict If They Will Cheat
Cheating, it is that horrible thing that most of us have experienced at least once. Either we are the cheater, or the cheatee. Of course it is wrong, yet twenty-five percent of men, and fifteen percent of women will do it at least once. So to avoid it happening to you there are ways to predict if it is going to happen. Here we will go over some ways to tell if you will be another victim.
You will not be able to tell if you are going to be cheated on solely by seeing clues. This is very unlikely, and so you are going to have to get more tricky then that. Really, after being married to someone for years on end you should be able to notice a change in their behavior when they are cheating, but by then it is usually too late. You need to see the signs before it happens so that you have a better chance of not letting it occur. How can you tell? Well, there is no single reason why people cheat, but a lot has to do with their personality.
A cheating vulnerability does not start with your relationship. In actuality it is rooted in the persons upbringing, and dating history. That is the sad part. You do not know if you are with someone who has cheated on every single partner they have ever had. That is why it is a good idea to try and find out if they will cheat before they actually do it. Have a closer look at who you are dating. Do they have a need for excitement all the time? These are classic cheaters. They are the types of people that are at a higher risk of cheating on their spouses.
The second personality type is someone who is not a religious person. People that have religious beliefs are less likely to cheat. Even those who are not actively religious, meaning they do not practice it regularly, are less likely to cheat. These are usually people that went to church when they were younger, and still go on holidays, and such, but are not going once a week. This way they still have some fundamentals about cheating in their minds.
The third personality type is people who have a known history of abuse, or psychological issues. These people are prone to cheating, as they did not have a good example set for them when they were younger, or they are not equipped with the social skills that would normally stop others. You must be sensitive to these peoples problems, and it is a good idea to know your partners history before it comes back to haunt you. This also goes for people who have gone through a previous divorce, and those with any form of depression.
Finally, cheating will also come from a result of a rocky marriage. If you are constantly fighting, and there is not a strong bond between the two of you, then you will be more prone to cheating. Also, if you are not sexually pleasing to your partner, and it has been put on the back burner for too long then cheating is a possibility.
Now I am not saying that this is the end all and be all. These are just clues. In fact, cheaters rarely have an intent to cheat. It simply happens. So how will you know when the point of no return is approaching? Well read on.
More often then not, cheaters will go down a road that will get more narrow as it goes. They will make excuses to feel okay about what they are doing. Perhaps it is lunch with a co-worker, or an old friend. No biggie? Wrong! If you would have never dreamed of it last year, and suddenly you are convincing yourself it is fine then you are on that very road, and need to think clearly.. Id this worth my marriage, and breaking my children’s hearts, and perhaps their lives. AS the one who is not cheating it is up to you to sense something is wrong. Do not avoid a fight in this situation. If you are worried tell them how you feel. However, if there is no signs of cheating, and you want to keep it that way then there are things you can do.
You must do your best to keep the relationship feeling new and exciting. This goes for your sex life as well. Keep the lines of communication open at all times. Make your relationship a priority in your life. You have to work at your relationship just as you do your career, and parenting. If you are a vulnerable person towards cheating, and you know you are then you have to stay away from those situations that make you want to cheat. Do not drink after a fight with your partner. Do not go out for a night on the town with your friends when things are rocky between you and your spouse. Remember, even though you do not intend to cheat, you are vulnerable to it, and need to stay out of the situations that will increase your likelihood to cheat. If you are still having a hard time. I suggest you go and seek some counselling.
What You Should Not Say In Bed
Sometimes we say the wrong things at the wrong time. Either we are just not thinking, or we have bad timing. We have all said stupid things that we regret saying, and sometimes we even say these things in bed. That is probably the worst possible time we could say these sorts of things.
Here we will go over some of these hilarious phrases that perhaps are better left unsaid.
First, do not mention your mother, or anyone else’s mother for that matter. There is no good time to tell your wife that your mother is coming to visit, let a lone while you are cuddling under the sheets. In fact, the mere mention of the word mother while in bed is a huge no-no.
Do not mention the repairs around the house that still have not been done. The bedroom is no place to mention the hot water tank, unless you would rather spend this time fixing it.
Leave the children out of the bedroom. Unless of course one is crying at the top of their lungs, or you hear smoke alarms or something to that degree. Maybe you just thought of how there is a school play, but hey give yourselves the few minutes you have together, and then worry about the robin hood costume that you forgot to stitch.
Never, and I mean never, mention an ex. Even though you maybe thinking about an ex, you should never bring them up, especially while in bed together. If you choose to ignore this advice, have a great night sleep in the dog house.
This one is for the men. When your wife attempts intimacy, and we never do this as much as you would like us to, then please do not deny us if the ‘game’ is on. If you do, then please do not attempt to get intimate with us when it is over. We see where your priorities are, and obviously we are not as high as the ‘game’ on that list. Therefore, we have taken the matter into our own hands, and perhaps now it is your turn.
No excuses in bed. By this time you should be honest with each other. If you do not want to do it, then just say no. Do not go off about how tired you are, or make excuses that the kids could come in. Just say no. Excuses will become the norm, and it will just aggravate the heck out of the two of you. You will try to get back at one another with… you guessed it more excuses.
Do not comment on your wife’s bedroom attire. So what she has goo all over her face, and her hair is a mess. Remember those vows, for better or worse. Well it is not all roses hunny so suck it up.
The number one, ultimate thing that you should never say to your wife in bed is anything regarding her weight. Even if you say she lost weight, it does not matter. Just never use the word weight in the bedroom. If you do mention it then make plans to sleep on the couch for… the rest of your life.
Well I hope that helps you all out to put an end to these things before you end up in some deep trouble.
Valentine Gift & Date Ideas For A New Valentine
You are dating someone new and its only been a short while. You don’t want to go overboard professing your undying likeness for him or her but what do you do.
The Valentine gift does not need to be a material thing and can be the actual date itself. A past valentine of mine took me to my favourite ballet which was fabulous. Have fun with it and try somethine new. Finding a Valentine gift does not need to be stressful. It should be fun and remember you are still learning more about each other. Here are some examples of fun and unique dates that would be great anytime. Not just Valentines!
A new play
A new movie that he or she wants to see
A new restaurant you both want to try
An ethnic food you are both interested in trying
Check out a local band
A concert
Rent movies that each of you want to see
Go sing karaoke and sing a song he or she likes (cheesy yet fun)
Try a drop in dance class
Salsa dancing
Pottery bowl class (You have to love the movie Ghost)
Glow Bowling
Visit a card reader and take it lightly
Get your palms read
Go wine tasting
Visit a candy shop (A sweet tooth date and I did this once and we got quite the candy loot!)
Ice skating
Roller skating (I can swear by this one. I never knew how to stop but he was there to guide me.ha!)
Zoo
Amusement Park
Make Fondue
Check out a convention
With material gifts there is always the dilemma of what to get. Some people get extravagant but again if it’s only been a short dating time I’m sure your partner is in the same boat trying to figure it out. The above list is to get your creativity going and am sure you can come up with something that your Valentine would like to do together.
If there is an inside joke that you two have it would be fun to try to get a gift pertaining to it. Someone I knew use to put more sugar than coffee in his cup. I made a little sugar basket with the tag “Did you want coffee with that?”. He seemed to like it and thought it was the cutest thing. Darn, I’m cute.
As long as it’s from the heart he or she will know. The most important thing here is to know that you two have found each other.
A Few Good Men
Merrill- Are there any good guys left in the world, I seem to find all the wrong ones, and I am beginning to think that Mr. Right is a myth. Your insight is desperately needed.
From-Looking for love… but perhaps on the wrong planet?
I get this question all the time, and it is my pleasure to answer it for all of you.
The answer is yes, but you have to know where to look. For many women, the problem is that they are unconsciously attracting the wrong men. You may be doing this because of self-esteem issues, abandonment problems, or you really just enjoy getting hurt.
My first word of advice is, not to get consumed by looking for men. It is when you least expect it, he will be there. When you let your guard down you will notice that all of a sudden great men are everywhere. Men can sense desperation, and the wrong guys cling to it. They are desperate themselves. Desperation leads to an ignorance of standards. You begin to want a guy, and any guy will do. Well is that really who you want to marry, or have children with, any guy. Of course not, no girl does. In fact we dream about Mr. Right all the time, what he does for a living, what he wears, and how great his ass looks in those briefs. I mean come on ladies change your focus. Instead of worrying about never finding him, stop looking. Go and take up a new past time like yoga. Watch some great old movies, and learn to live with yourself. No one wants to be with someone who defines themselves by whether or not they are single.
More importantly, good men are everywhere, but tend to not be in the places bad men are. For example, most women go to the club with their friends, and are delighted when they meet a handsome man who looks them up and down, or asks them to dance. Now let me critically analyze this. First ladies, when you go to the club it should be to dance, and let loose with your girlfriends, not to find a potential date. Why you ask? Well that is simple, if he is out flirting it up with you in the club then what will he be doing if you start dating. Will he suddenly turn into a home body who hates bars, and flirting with beautiful women? The liklihood of this happening is slim to none.
Instead of looking for the man of your dreams in a smokey, and loud bar. You will meet good men when you least expect it. Next time you go to your local library check out the potential men there. Or when you are grabbing your favorite coffee at Starbucks have a look around. This way you will increase your chances of finding an intellectual, or someone who enjoys a triple shot, extra foam latte just like you. That sure beats a man who can beer bong a half sack in record time.
The truth is there are a few good men, but only a few so start your search in your local grocery store, or at a charity benefit. This way you know you have found a man with a good head on his shoulders. Instead of getting bummed out about how all men are pigs think to yourself, why am I looking for Mr. Right in a pig pen?
As for ‘Looking for love… but perhaps on the wrong planet?’, thank-you for a great question, and I have faith that your Mr. Right is closer then you think!
Until next time…
What’s In A Name When It’s Not Yours!
Remember Michael? If you don’t, let me refresh your memory here.
He did call and asked to take me out to dinner without running into my ex this time around! I was looking forward to it. He wanted to do both a movie and dinner which was great for he told me to choose something I wanted to see. Always a plus.
By the end of the movie we were both looking forward to dinner. Dinner was going fantastic with ongoing conversation and I found out he loves to write. He shared details about the manuscript he was working on for a science fiction book. I love reading and writing so this impressed me. In the middle of dinner his cell phone went off which he answered. I thought it was kind of rude for apparently it wasn’t an emergency. Well maybe for him.
I could hear a female voice on the other line. Now before you guys bite my head off!! Let me tell you. We girls just know when something is up. I could hear her on the other end and Michael was having the time of his life laughing with her on the phone. He even excused himself from the table still on the phone. I have never had a date excuse himself to speak on his cell phone. In fact if they did answer their phone, they were always quick enough to get off the phone apologizing to me. I was debating whether I should order an entire chocolate cherry cake and leave.
I was on my way to ordering the chocolate cherry cake and he arrived back to the table. I swear he was gone for at least 10 minutes. He was still smiling when he came back and didn’t apologize. Instead he explained that his friend was at work and after our dinner we could drop off HIS leftover food and a slice of cake to her. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m all for opposite sex friends for most of my friends are male but this was just getting weird.
What? I blinked. He repeated himself. He paid for dinner and got the waitress to get an extra slice of cake to go. Anyways, we left the restaurant and he told me his friend’s work was just twelve minutes away. Wow, talk about precise. We arrived at a shoe store that apparently was open 24 hours or not. I could see they had just closed but a young girl let us inside the store. Maybe all of 18 years old. Did I mention Michael is in his mid-thirties? He walked with her to where the til was and another employee peeked her head out from the back to see who was there.
Michael introduced me and she looked me up and down. She gave me that look…come on girls….you know that look…. and then stroked Michael’s arm thanking him for the food. We left and he told me he’s known her for six months and that they use to date briefly but she called it off. I was almost right with the age thing. He told me she just turned 19. I’m good. He leaned over to kiss me.
Michael: So Clarissa..I mean Miss. Belle…where do you want to go now?
His face turned beet red. Clarissa was eating his leftover potatoes in between cleaning up shoes. He knew where to go.
Effective Ways to Deal With Jealousy
Even though it is easy to enter into a new relationship, it is really tough to maintain the bond without fighting, or arguing. Many smaller problems that add up may lead to the end of your relationship. Jealousy is one of those annoying problems in any relationship. If this problem is left unaddressed, jealousy can grow, and will increase the chances for more serious problems to occur later on. This is why it is essential for couples to deal with jealousy as soon as it appears in their relationship.
Jealousy is like an injury, that if left untreated, it can worsen and potentially demolish an otherwise beautiful and happy relationship. Dealing with jealousy is a very complicated process. This is because frequently one party, or both will deny feeling any jealousy at all. They believe it makes them appear weak, when really it is a quite normal feeling.
Jealousy is a relative term. What could be normal jealousy to some people, might be an overreaction to others. Other people feel that their jealousy is justified, while others would regard it as being unnecessary, and a signal of being suspicious of one another. This is the reason why couples can get unreasonable while discussing the topic of jealousy. Most of the time these feelings play an important role in relationships, and get in the way of a balanced discussion about ones true feelings of jealousy. This is the reason behind why couples who discuss jealousy openly end up resolving the issue, rather than making the matter worse.
Couples must comprehend that all forms of jealousy stem from a lack of trust, and from fear that their partner may leave them, and seek a new relationship. Jealous people, more often than not, are frequently afraid of being dumped by their lover. This is why when dealing with jealousy in a relationship you should look at your partner’s issues, as well as your own issues regarding lack of confidence, or a lack of trust. To do that, you must be ready to confront your own feelings. Try to discover where these feelings are coming from, and deal with it before it comes up again. To do this you must try to be as rational as possible. Try to think if there really is a reason not to trust your partner. It is possible that the source of your jealousy is only imaginary.
The most effective way of dealing with jealousy in a relationship is to augment the trust between you and your partner. To trust someone you must open up to the other person, and make yourself susceptible to getting hurt. If you are not ready to trust anyone, then maybe you are not mature enough to enter into a serious relationship yet. If you are not ready to fully trust your partner, then jealousy will always find its way into your relationship.
Dealing with jealousy is essential if you are going to maintain a healthy and happy relationship. You must do everything you can to keep jealousy at bay, if you want your relationship with your partner to last.
The Importance of Food in Relationships
Falling in love is one of the best feelings in the world. Although love is primarily focused on matters of the heart, the smallest things in life can contribute to a successful relationship, even food.
Everyone must be familiar with the old saying ‘the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.’ This is not far from the truth. In fact, there is an emphasis on what we eat, how we cook it, and its nutritional value. For example, what if you are dating a vegetarian, or what happens if you live on Kraft Dinner, but your partner enjoys a nutritious meal everyday.
It is quite traditional that many couples have a preference to visit only those places that are less crowded, and offer them privacy to talk. They may order something simple like, a pair of sandwiches, and coffee while enjoying each others company. Young couples and college goers find this kind of dating to be a good ice breaker.
For a little more matured couple, particularly if they are working they may wish to go to a more stylish place. These restaurants are silent with subdued light, and have a romantic atmosphere. The dinner can be started with a wine of their choice, and progressing to order the dishes that appeal to both of them. It is very important to order the right kind of food on a date, as it sets the atmosphere for a romantic evening. If the food ordered is a burger and fries it may ruin the mood for the rest of the evening.
These couples can also plan an evening at home, and have a cozy, romantic home cooked dinner. It is again very important here to cook the right kind of food, in which your partner likes, and that will add flavor to your evening at home. You must discuss each others likes and dislikes well before the dinner. The food you serve not only has to be of the right kind, but also of good quality in all aspects. So take a little time off to determine the correct recipes of the dishes you are going to prepare.
If your partner is not a fussy eater, and does not have too many allergies, cook any dish which you are good at. This way you are sure to serve a tasty meal, and you can be confident that your partner will like it. Also give some thought to how you are going to serve the food. Set the table warmly for two, with candles and flowers. This gives the date a romantic atmosphere as if you were in a restaurant. This is sure to please and impress your partner.
Certain items are always linked to love and romance. Chocolate is a great start. Many men give a box of chocolates to their sweethearts on a date. The next one is of course wine or champagne. A romantic dinner is set with a glass of wine, or champagne. There are also some beliefs that certain foods like, strawberries, oysters, carrots, asparagus, ginger, honey, pine nut, and mustard are ‘love foods’ or aphrodisiacs. Historically they have been tested, and proven to have affected the pursuit of love.
7 Body Signals Guys Show When They Are Interested in a Woman
What are the signals that prove if a man is interested in a woman? Body language is one of the easiest ways to tell whether a person has a crush on you. You can simply verify how the person feels about you just from the tone of his voice, and the little things he says or hints at. Remember that a person’s eyes can give away their true feelings. If you want to know how to tell if he is into you or not, here are 7 body signs.
1. He will raise his eyebrows as you walk towards him. He may even act like he has suddenly seen you, and may give you a surprised expression.
2. He may move away from a crowd so that he gets your attention. If he is among his friends, he may move away from them. If he says hi to you, he is definitely into you.
3. If you are a truly stunning beauty, some guy’s will part their lips for a few seconds, and they will not take their eyes off of you. I call this the “deer in headlights” expression.
4. He may experience nervousness, which will result in actions such as, rubbing his chin or cheek, smoothing out his hair, or readjusting his shirt.
5. A change in his appearance is one of the most noticeable signs to look out for. It is clear that he is concerned about his appearance in front of you. You may smell cologne when he usually does not wear any, or he might get a haircut, or even a new outfit.
6. He will start a conversation with you, and ask about your interests. He may even ask for your number. This is an obvious one, which are also the best signs!
7. He may overtly clap, or laugh out loud to make you notice him. If he is a real flirt he will wink, or accidently bump into you at a party.
How to Tell When a Guy Is Flirting and Showing Interest in You
It is not tough to say when a guy is trying to get your attention by flirting. He may do little things to surprise you such as, bring you your favorite beverage at lunch, or flowers to your office. He may hunt for you in a desperate attempt to get your attention, and do outragous things to make you smile. If he is constantly saying wonderful things about you, it is likely that he is interested in you.
Signs to Look Out For In Those ‘Not So Nice’ Guys
Sometimes when you are dating you run into some bad guys. If the guy turns out to be in another relationship, you should be cautious. He may tell you that he will leave his girlfriend for you, but just think- do you honestly want to be the cause of their breakup, and later worry if you made a mistake. Even worse, what if he does the same thing to you?
Ask before thinking if that lunch date is actually a date. Never give mixed indications that can make you feel uneasy or break your heart later on. Do not give the guy a chance to use you. He may tell you he is fond of you, and interested to know you more, but do not let your guard down. Especially when you are in the beginning stages of your relationship.
Learn to understand what kind of ‘talk’ a man does with you. Is it friendship or lover talk? While some men are out to hurt you deliberately, they are not all like that. You have the power within you to make a man fall in love with you. Never let yourself get trapped. Just learn the art of how to deal with guys by watching their body language, the way they talk to you, and most of all how they treat you.
