Dating Etiquette for Men

The world of dating has changed drastically throughout the decades, especially for men. In the 1950s, the rules were straight and simple. Open the door for her, pay for the date, and bring her home before a certain hour. Today, these rules have changed. Read on to discover some simple things you can do, as a man, so that you are successful in the dating scene.

Men need to realize modern day issues of gender equality and sensitivities. Men can no longer assume anything about women that he dates. Some women enjoy courtesy, while others abhor it. Some women enjoy being spoiled financially, while others see it as belittling and humiliating. The dating world is more complex and difficult for men, today, than it has ever been before. There are a few basic rules you can follow to play it safe.

During the course of the date, you will come across occasions to help your partner. The path of the date is simple, but small opportunities will come and go, and they can be easily missed. Deep down, most women love chivalry. Some will even refuse it until they are red in the face, but really they love the feeling of respect that comes from having a door opened for them. In fact, these days very few men are being chivalrous, because of the confusion regarding what women really want. If you practice chivalry during the date, you are more likely to stand out above the rest. Always practice chivalry unless your date asks otherwise. The following are the typical highlights of such a date.

• When you pick her up, immediately open the door for her, allow her to get in and gently close it.
• When you get to your destination, even though she may open the door herself, walk around and hold it open. When she is out, close it for her.
• When you are seated at the restaurant, ask her if she would like an appetizer or a glass of wine, or both. If she says yes, go ahead and order a bottle. Although she only drinks one glass, it shows class on your part. Do not drink more than two glasses yourself, and only after offering to refill her glass the second time.
• When the waitress asks if you are ready to order, always look at your date and allow her to order first. If the waitress is looking at you, simply look at your date and say, “you can go first.”
• When the bill arrives, as you reach for it say softly, “I hope you do not mind if I pay for this, I really enjoyed spending time with you tonight, and it would make me feel really good to cover the meal, is that okay?” This indicates that you are not assuming she wanted you to pay, and it also shows that you respect her enough to believe that she could pay if she wanted to. If she asks you if you want her to help a little with the bill, thank her and say it is not that much, and you do not mind it. If she insists that she wants to pay, do not argue, and thank her for her kindness. If she is persistent you could tell her if she wants to grab ice cream on the way home she can buy that.
• At a theater, step up to the counter, order the tickets and pay for them. Do not bother asking, just pay for them casually and hand her the tickets. Ask her if she would like any snacks, order them, and move to pay. She may ask to pay for some of it at this point. Try to guess if she really wants to pay or is simply being polite. Let her pay if she insists, or simply pay yourself.

It is a balancing act that every man must go through on a first date. Once you get a better sense of her beliefs, future dates will get much easier. The first date is a case of trial and error, and trying to judge her beliefs before you make a mistake and offend her. The true gentleman in today’s dating scene has the ability to be very generous or very gracious when the woman he is dating offers to pay. Every girl is a bit old fashioned, and does not mind this kind of stuff from time to time.