Healing After a Break-Up

One of the toughest things in our life is when we are forced to go through a break-up. Always, and possibly out of guilt, or maybe out of consideration, they say, “I hope we can be friends”. Somehow we gather enough courage to say, “NO”. Of course we cannot be friends. If this is the end, it is the end of everything.  Agreeing to “be friends” has a massive amount of overtures. It will mean your ex feels better about dumping you, and it will most likely mean you are eager to worm your way back into their life. Identify and come to terms with it when a good thing is over.

If you want to heal as quickly as possible, make it a clean break up. To get the finality set in your mind, cut a shoe-lace or a piece of cloth into two pieces, and look intently at them. There they are two separate things in play here, and they are totally divided. If you want to heal quickly, that is how you must look at it. A new day will come up soon. Go out of your way to keep away from your ex, but if you do unintentionally see them somewhere, hold your head up high, look them straight in the eye and say, “hello,. you are looking well.” Do not let them see you are hurt. Wait for a short reply, and move on, ignoring them for whatever time remains.

Making a clean break up means you must wipe out all your beautiful moments you shared with them, and dump all mementos you cherish. It may not be something you can do straight away, but for your own good do it as soon as possible. Pictures are the first possessions to go. News clippings, and gifts are next. Everything that even vaguely reminds you of your ex must go including, jewelry, clothing, and other objects. Make a clean thorough break up. You will be brokenhearted as you try to go through the motions of life, and that is normal.
Believe it or not, healing will ultimately occur. Permit yourself to go through the grieving process. It is an important step. Admit that you lost more than a prospective mate. You lost your whole future. You lost your dreams and ambitions. What is equally important, you either lost your self-esteem and self-worth, or it is badly damaged. Realize the toughest thing about a break-up is not the loss of a partner, or the loss of a companion, or the fun times you had. The hardest part is the rejection. Luckily, it is also the easiest to correct.
The very first thing you must do after a break-up is try flirting a little. No, your heart will not let you at first, but there is a little actor in everyone. When someone flirts back, you have just reconfirmed that you are still a desirable person; you are still striking; you still have “the touch”. You will be restored, but little by little. It is time to treat yourself in whatever way you normally would. No, you will not enjoy it as much, but it will help you feel better. Wear a smile on your face when you go out. Then, one day you will rise, and notice that the sun is shining once again on your side.