On & Off Again: Are You On A Relationship Rollercoaster

We have all been there, when a friend asks how long you and your partner have been together you reply, ‘on and off again for a few years’.  However, that is not a very healthy response, or relationship for that matter. So when do you know when to get off that relationship rollercoaster?  Here we will go over everything you need to know about on and off again dating, and when to get off the ride.

First, you need to assess the conflicts that you have had, that have made you break up in the past.  Each of  you should make a list of what you remember to be the reasons why you fight, and then compare each of your lists.  Talk about how this time it will be different, and how you will fix that problem.  This will get you back in the mood to handle things as a couple, and also address the issues that have been breaking down your relationship.

Second, make sure that you have the appropriate environment for a successful go at it this time.  Layout your role, and that of your partners.  For example, who has the role of the entertainer?  Now of course that does not mean one of you is not allowed to take on that role, but who has that role primarily?  Who is the cook?  Who is the banker?  There are always roles in relationships, and the clearer they get the easier it is.

Third, create your own formula for success.  What is it that you both will do differently this tie around in comparison to the last seven times?  How will you meet each others needs?  You need to know each others importance, and what they value.  That way you can ingrain those ideas into your daily life.

The next thing you need to know is about forgiveness.  Now obviously with the relationship being on and off again you have both obviously hurt each other.  However, if you are truly going to make it work this time then you need to forgive eachoher.  Forgive what they have said, and the things they have done to hurt you.  This is probably one of the hardest things to do, but it is also the number one reason why you will not succeed again.  Think of this as a new beginning because if you dwell on the past then you are really not giving it your best shot.

Finally, you need stability in your relationship.  You both need to commit to each other fully.  If you continue to have a half-assed approach,a nd think to yourself, if it does not work you will just end it again, then it will not work.  You need to be as committed as the first time you met.

So there you have it.  If you are going to make it work this time then you must be serious.  You cannot just think to yourself that you have an easy way out of it, if it happens to fail again.  That will eventually ruin your relationship.  It is obvious that you love each other still or you would not continue to put yourselves through hell, time and tie again, but remember sometimes love just ain’t enough.