Relationship Homework

When we are in relationships we often experience troubling times. Sometimes it is useful for couples to go to counselling to over come the obstacles in their relationships. However, this is not a necessity for every couple. Some fortunate couples can get over these problems on their own if they are willing to work at it. It is important that in these hard times you really apply yourself, and your goal of making things work. That is of course if you think they can. Sometimes in life we just need to release some of our emotions, and ‘vent’ to someone about these issues. At other times, we simply need to get these feelings down on paper. This acts as a release when other types are not needed, or not acceptable to you or your partner. Usually, when a couple goes to counselling they are sent home with work that they can do together and on their own to bring back the love in the relationship. This ‘homework’ has a great deal of benefits, and so I suggest you try a few of these exercises next time you are in trouble.

Your first assignment is to write about your current problem, or problems. This can be in life in general, or your love life. Whatever the case getting it out will feel good. Ask your partner to do the same. When you have both completed this assignment show it to each other, and see where your similarities and differences are.

A second possible assignment is writing about whether you feel lonely in your life. When you are in a couple it can get lonely despite always having someone around. Still people experience a sense of loneliness when things are not going their way. Write down at least 5 reasons why you feel lonely.

The third assignment is to write down at least ten instances when you have requested or needed ‘love’ from your partner and you were not given it. Now by love I mean anything you define as love. However, love cannot just be sex, it can be compassion, appreciation, and anything else you consider love in a relationship.

After you have completed that I want you to write down ten instances when a partner has needed or requested ‘love’ from you, and you did not do it. Again, this is not just about sex it is love which can have endless definitions.

This next assignment should be an enlightening one. I want you to write down a fifty item bitch list. This is where you are free to go off on your spouse, and your life in general. What grinds your gears about your partner? Do you hate it when they leave the toilet seat up despite your reminders, or maybe you hate how they answer their cell phone while you are in an argument. Whatever you absolutely hate write it down.

Next, write down your top 10 assumptions about the opposite sex. This is not just about your relationship, but rather love and marriage in general. These assumptions are anything from, ‘all men are pigs’ to ‘men only have wives for sex’. Whatever you think about the opposite sex , write it down. Have your spouse do the same. The results can be funny, but also hurtful so certain people will just simply not be able to handle it. If you think your spouse is this type of person proceed with caution.

Finally, your last homework assignment is to write a movie script for the rest of your life. It could be one page or twenty, but try to be as detailed as possible. Share this story with your spouse. It is interesting on how perfection on paper can become perfection in reality.