Why Your Online Relationship May Not Work

You have decided to venture into the world of online dating.  You have never tried anything like this before, but you are at your wits end, and refuse to spend another Friday night alone with your cat, and the newest chick flick.  You are thinking to yourself, hopefully I meet someone on here that can help me change my life, make it more exciting, and fun.  Well, before you log on, take an opportunity to evaluate whether or not you are serious about online dating.

You see many people when using online dating, are very cautious, and usually they will never let the relationship blossom into something ‘normal’.  The lenses we look at online dating through can make it difficult for an online relationship to be successful, find out if you are one of these people.

First, how seriously do you take the people you are talking to?  Do you find your self unsure of what they are saying.  Do you think they are lieing, or exaggerating their stories.  If you do not take the people online seriously, then how will you ever take a relationship with one of them?

Second, how much information do you provide to your online dates.  Are you shy and reserved when normally you would be open with someone face to face.  If you are not willing to provide a few things about yourself then what makes you think people will want to date you online.

Third, trust is a very important part of online relationships.  Because you are both so far away, there needs to be a very solid trust foundation to take away some of the fear that they are not who they say they are.

Fourth, shyness can be cute, but it can also be annoying.  You have no reason to be shy with people online, because at least they are not there to judge you.  Now of course do not go from super outgoing to super shy when you meet face to face, because then you just look like two different people.

Fifth, do not be afraid.  Fear is not a good way to start a relationship.  Try not to be afraid of what might happen, and just go with it, as you would if you met that person in person.  People will be able to sense your paranoia, and may get turned off by it.  Be safe, but try to relax.

Sixth, believe in who you are with.  If your partner senses that you do not believe in this relationship, or put it at a lower standing then a ‘normal’ relationship then you may find yourself alone.

Seventh, what are your priorities in life?  How do your priorities come across online?   People like to know that they are appreciated, and play a role in their partners life.  That is why it is important to make it clear to your online partner that they matter in your life.

Eighth, are you willing to take the next step?  Talking is only one part of online dating, and if you simply leave it at that you are no more then friends.  Once you have overcome talking online, try talking on the phone, and then after you are comfortable, perhaps you want to meet somewhere for a coffee, and talk face to face.  Then you can proceed to touching, and even more intimate behaviours.

Ninth, be genuine, and sincere.  If you want this erelationship to last then you should try to be yourself, but also keep it at a high level of sincerity.  Even if it is just online dating it could lead to something more, but not if you are not willing to show people the best side of you.

Finally, online dating sites are not grocery stores, where you can pick and choose what you want, and return it if it is not what you were looking for.  Do not treat people online like they are 100% disposable.  If you lose someone you really liked then you may not be able to get them back, so be careful, and keep your heart open.